This morning I woke up around 3 AM here on the east coast (though I think North Carolina is more considered the south) and couldn't get back to sleep for more than half hour bursts at a time. Finally I decided to rise up before dawn, sit outside in the cold with a much-too-early cigarette, and then make myself some hot chocolate. Then I thought, hey! Why not channel all this energy (I'm lying - I have very little energy) into something positive? I thought my brain could use a break from thinking about all the things that are wrong with the world. Or at least everyone around me could use a break from having to listen to those things. While I plan to write a more extensive list come New Year's, let's talk about some of the things that have made my life worth being thankful for.
Family - Originally I felt like this was a cop-out since so many people list family first. Then I realized that these days that's definitely not a guarantee, since so many families kinda suck. My family does not suck, however, and I'm grateful for them every day.
I have a mother who loves being a mother. When people ask me about her, that's the first thing I say. She just loves being a mom. She is not only the breadwinner of the family, but she cooks, cleans, organizes, gives advice, walks for causes, snuggles me when I'm sad, and overall rocks. I'm 100% aware that if she were to die any time soon, I wouldn't be able to function as an adult. Maybe that means I'm not very good at being an adult, but I do love relying on my mom and I know she wouldn't have it any other way. From her I get my love of meeting new people, which I didn't realize until recently. She's crafty beyond all reason, and she generally knows the answer to every question I ever have. Even if she doesn't, I just tell her to make it up so I don't feel let down. She and I have developed a pretty solid bond over the years and I love her immeasurably.
My father is a fighter for everything in life. He fights for the underdogs, and he fought when he had his stroke. People say I get my determination from him, but I think they overestimate me because his is far more terrifying. Every six months he goes through either a healthy phase or a heavy duty cleaning/ organizing phase. I do happen to get about 80% of my personality traits from him. We both love to travel, try new foods, be responsibly wild, and hide in our respective rooms when we don't feel like being social. He is often one of the only people who can calm me down when I'm anxious, and he's a brilliant role model.
My younger brother is one of my favorite people on the planet! We are at once complete opposites and exactly alike. He cooks for me and watches movies with me and listens to me rant. We finish each other's sentences, laugh at each other's jokes and constantly weird each other out. I don't know how it's still possible for him to freak me out so often, but he's a strange guy. I'm always forgetting he's an adult, but he's turned into such a great one.
My older brother and I aren't as close as we could be, but he's a strong man. He's financially stable, happily married, and has served our country for many years. He and his wife (my glorious sister-in-law) make a beautiful family that I admire and respect.
Love - I know friends was supposed to come next, but I broke that mold. I'm such a fan of love, guys. Such a fan! I'm convinced that love is the most powerful thing in existence. Love is responsible for friendships and enemies. Love creates life and beauty. Love is from God. As I always say, love is the gift that keeps on giving. It's the one thing that the more you give, the more you have. It grows. Love doesn't make sense. It's this crazy, wacky, messed up ideal that we struggle daily to comprehend. It causes us to make sacrifices that no one else understands. It makes us cry when we're happy. It's overwhelming and heartbreaking all at once. One of my favorite new quotes is, "There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Ever. Never." I spend my life loving the shit out of everything and everyone that I can, and I'm constantly willing to fight for love.
Gratitude - I live my life in a constant state of awe. I resolved myself ages ago to never take anything for granted. It's a blessing and a curse. Everything amazes me constantly, which brings a new light to everything I do. I still don't understand how CD's work. Technology confuses me, and we use it all the time. Animals delight me. I try to actively humanize everyone I meet in order to remember that they are worthy of love, even when no one else thinks so. Science, which drives so many into thinking there is no God, only confirms for me how complex my Supreme Being is. I'm thankful that I have this ability, because it means my life is never boring.
Friends - Here they are. I have an incredible friend base. I have an eclectic set of groups that I can rely on to satisfy all my human requirements. I have my faith based friends who I can talk to about God and life whenever I need to. They are there for me spiritually and emotionally, and I love them dearly. I have my wild groups that I can party with and spend time with. I have friends from every walk of life who accept me for who I am without question. I have an adorable boyfriend who gives me so many snuggles. I'm thankful every day for the people I've met in my life who have taught be valuable skills and assets and who love me.
Life - Again, this seems like a cop-out, but life is so incredible. I don't know what I've done to be blessed with a life that has done me more good than harm, but I definitely don't try to take that for granted either. I don't assume it will always be as wonderful as it has been for this past year, specifically, but I know that when new obstacles come my way, I've been given the tools I need to overcome them.
Overall, I'm very thankful on this holiday for the life I lead. Though I've gone through some crazy shit, I keep trucking because that's the only option. It's not a requirement to keep living, but it's the greatest gift. I don't want to squander it.
Happy Thanksgiving, my loved ones! I could not be who I am today without you.
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